Recent posts in A Slight Apocalypse

Boston Legal, Season 1

“You hear the one about the fella who died? Went to the Pearly Gates and St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument and says, “Who’s that?” St. Peter says, “Oooohhh, that’s God. Thinks he’s Denny Crane.”

- Denny Crane, “From Whence We Came”, 1.12, Boston Legal

It’s no secret that I’ve lately been searching far and wide for a good, new show. One that’s funny, exciting and… well, you know the routine. Where was the Good Stuff? I had to know, and when you’re in need of good advice there’s no better place to look to than your friends. Loki, who’s probably posted more comments on this blog than anyone else combined, first suggested that I watch season 2 of Rome. Which I did, of course, and I loved it so much that I could’ve sold all my property and offered it as dowry at our wedding (me and Rome, of course, not Loki. That would be weird). He then started plugging Boston Legal, and I, ever the sheep, never the leader, decided that a funny drama show about lawyers sounded more than a little appealing.

The Premise: David E. Kelley is the executive producer of such shows as Ally McBeal and The Practice. The former was a silly thing about silly lawyer with silly problems and silly cases, but it was damned funny and I remember being an avid watcher of it back when it was airing. I also watched several episodes of The Practice, which was a lawyer drama that, if anything, ran screaming away from Silliness and into the comforting, if slightly stern hands of Seriousness. I liked both of these shows and was intrigued to see where Boston Legal fit in on the sillyness-seriousness scale. Turns out it landed somewhere in between.

The Execution: I like my shows to be character based and driven, so it helps if a show has the decency to include a few faces that are worth my while. This show has two: Alan Shore and Denny Crane, played by respectively by James Spader and William Shatner (of Star Trek fame). Alan Shore is a brilliant lawyer with the penchant of taking on unconvetional cases and winning them in unconventional ways. He’s a trouble maker and a womanizer, and in this first season he’s absolutely awesome.

Denny Crane is equally awesome in his own way, but maybe a tad less diverse a character. Since he was once held as one of the greatest trial lawyers of his generation, Denny Crane is more than capable living off of his reputation. What makes this guy great though, isn’t that he’s every bit as unconventional as his best friend, Alan Shore. No, he may be a gun-tooting republican with less self-insight than a mirror, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t loveable, and his dynamic with Alan Shore is what makes this show a good show, and not just another procedural drama.

The rest of the cast is less remarkable, all though I couldn’t help but to fall a bit in love with Ronda Mitra, even though she epitomized one the things that irked me the most about Boston Legal: It’s very predictable in the way it tackles the human drama. And to be fair, the cases they take on are very easy to call, too. I think I’ve only guessed wrong twice this far, and I’ve watched a ten episodes of season 2 as well as the first season. There’s never any suspense in the way any of the situations are resolved. You can see where the relationship between Ronda’s character and Alan Shore is going after the first scene they’re in, and that’s just not very good storytelling.

Another thing that bothers me is the way the episodes are constructed. It’s always the same set-up: A funny and/or intriguing intro, followed by two new cases that are eventually resolved by the end of episode, and then we sum it all up in yet another (almost always very good) scene where Alan sips whisky with Denny on the office balcony. However, it should also be said that while the show is constricted in the way it tells its stories, it almost always manages to tell a vital story anyhow. Go figure.

Famous Last Words: This is a very entertaining lawyer show with two fantastic characters and great dialogue. It’s not by any means an original show, but it plays well with established elements of the genre, even if it could benefit from shaking things more than it’s done so far. That being said, there’s no doubt that this is a very good show that deserves a healthy recommendation.

Denny: You left me, Shirley. Women don’t leave Denny Crane. And for a secretary!
Shirley: It was the Secretary of Defense.

8.0/10 (weak)

October 4. 2008

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Tropic Thunder

The fact that I went to the theatres to watch this movie should actually be quite astounding. Why, you ask? Well, not so much because it stars Ben Stiller (who is easily negated by the omnipotent actor-genius Robert Downey Jr.). And not so much because it’s directed by Ben Stiller (which is more than forgiveable becasue he cast the near-deity Robert Downey Jr.). And last, but not least, it’s not because Ben Stiller wrote it (together with the guy who’ll be writing Iron Man II, which coincidentally stars the spiffy man named Downey Jr.).

The actual reason why this is a singular review, is because “Tropic Thunder” is the first straight-up comedy I’ve bothered watching on the big screen since… Well, “forever” would be stretching it because I have vague memories of watching the second American Pie movie with my sister, but that was ages ago. So what made me bother with “Tropic Thunder”?

I think the expression on Downey jr.’s face is answer enough:

The Premise: Once upon a time in Vietnam, a group of American soldiers survived a trying battle with the Vietcong. Three of the guys who made it back home wrote books about this event. Only two of those got published, and only one of those again got made into a screenplay. “Tropic Thunder” is this story. Or rather, “Tropic Thunder” should’ve been that story. Instead it all falls apart in the director’s hands when his mega-stars can’t get along. He quickly realizes that the only way he can do this film is by sending them into the thick of it all alone, guerilla style. But what the director doesn’t know is that the jungle he’s sending his actors into are crawling with hostiles, and soon the movie becomes something very different from what it set out to be.

The Execution: Most comedies are a lot hit and miss. Hell, “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” is my favourite TV-show in the world, and even that isn’t always consistently funny. However, what seperates the good from the bad is, obviously, that the hits outnumber the misses, and this is certainly the case with “Tropic Thunder”. Not only does it contain a black Downey Jr. (he has to undergo pigment surgery to play the black sergeant), which in and of itself is a concept made up purely out of win, but Downey also manages to steal every single scene he’s in. What he pulls of here is hands down the best comedic performance I’ve seen in ages. Combined with what he did on “Iron Man”, I’m tempted to suggest that the Academy goes ahead and invents him an all new Oscar for being “Most Awesome”. Seriously, once had me laughing so hard I was worried I’d pop my stitches, and I’ve never even had abdominal surgery!

The movie itself suffers a bit from a mid-story slump. It starts off superbly, winds down to simply okay before it lights its own tail-end and goes straight up in the sky like an incredibly funny acid trip. Add that most of the actors staring and cameoing in this flick pulls of some really great performances (including the crazy, crazy man named Tom Cruise), and it’s hard to say that this is a bad movie. The humour isn’t exactly high-brow and I personally didn’t think the Ben Stiller made the retard-schtick work fully to the effect he had in mind, but this is to be expected in a Judd Apatow influenced business. Also, while parodying Hollywood and puffed up actors is fun enough, it just isn’t very original any more. Sure, this is good parody, which hasn’t always been the case, but my point stands none the less.

Famous Last Words: Robert Downey jr., Robert Downey jr., oh, and did I mention Robert Downey jr:? And that he’s black? I did? Good, then. Know that I fully recommend this movie and that it indeed really is Downeylicious.

“I know what dude I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!”

- Kirk Lazarus, played by Robert Downey Jr., “Tropic Thunder”

8.0/10 (strong)

October 2. 2008

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Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Those of you who either have a startlingly detailed memory or spend a little too much time obessing over my reviews will remember the hugely entertaining little thing I wrote about the original movie. In many ways I think it was one of my better posts, because it was both easy and fun to read, while also containing the modicum of in-depth, seemingly rambling analysis that I always try to include in my reviews.

However.

While I think it’s a fun read, I also think it’s a bit too… harsh? Yeah, that’s probably it. I was on a particular binge at that time where I did my best to fully behead movies I thought deserved it and not fall pray to the inane excuses many reviewers whip up  whenever they should really be telling it straight. Frankly, I thought “Hellboy” kind of sucked, but it didn’t suck as badly as I wrote, and for that I apologize. It seems I plummeted straight into an all new pitfall while I was trying my best to avoid another.

What I don’t regret though, is the fact that I was then and have remained fully prepared to watch the sequel, seeing as del Toro is going to make the Hobbit films and I would like to assure myself that he truly is as brilliant as “Pan’s Labyrinth” made him up to be. And I’m glad to report that I had a very different experience with this film. “Hellboy 2: The Golden Army” is a cracking good action movie and it entertained me from beginning to end. Here’s why:

The Premise: The movie begins with Hellboy’s “father”, Proffesor Bruttenholm, telling a young Hellboy a fairy tale about an elven king and a golden army. The elven king was tired of how the humans were destroying his world, and sought to stop them by any means necessary. That’s when a goblin (never listen to goblins!) offered make him a golden army that couldn’t be stopped. The king, being a the unsuspecting, royal bastard he was, said “Yes, thank you, dear goblin!” and proceeded to slaughter the humans until he got so tired of the mess that he vowed to never, ever use his army again. This he ensured by dividing his crown into four pieces. One he kept himself, two went to his son and daughter and the last one was given to the humans for safekeeping.

Now, does anyone think that this fairy bears any resemblance to what happens next? If you do, you’d be right (don’t give yourself too much credit, though), and if you’re extra, extra smart, you’ll even be able to tell me who has to save the world. Hint: He’s big and red and likes kittens… and his name is Hellboy.

Dearie me, have I said too much?

The Execution: The first film suffered badly from a lot of different things, and I won’t reiterate them all here, but one of the most disruptive things about it was how the characters were never allowed to be themselves. It was a movie about freaks saving the world, and they just weren’t freaky enough, you know? Well, that’s no issue here. Hellboy is big and red, he says one-liners that even Sean Connery couldn’t have pulled off even if he had replaced his upper-lip with a brick, and whenever something needs a little smashin’, he’s there to pound it into submission. He can’t help but look a little more than stupid, but he works well enough in small doses. The other characters are given a more to work with this time around, making the movie more of a group feel than a single hero type of story. Which is good, ’cause Hellboy can’t carry a whole movie on his own.

The story is, while not the strongest or most original one I’ve ever heard, quite engaging and drives the plot forward in a more than satisfying manner. It even manages to stir around with some real-life issues like the environment, faith and “oh my god, I wonder if Hellboy could beat that thing up?”. The last one, of course, being the most important one. Because this isn’t meant to be a deep movie like “Pan’s Labyrinth”, it’s supposed to be fun, and if you can get something more on top of that, like good characterization and fun fight scenes, then that’s just groovy. Add that nearly no one can shoot a scene like del Toro can, and it makes this a pretty terrific action movie.

Famous Last Words: Nice plot. Serviceable and entertaining cast. Succeeds at what it tries to do, and… Well, look out for tooth fairies, I guess, though that’s just generally good advise.   

“Suck my ectoplasmic Schwanzstücke!”

-  Johann Krauss, “Hellboy 2″

7.5/10 (strong)

October 1. 2008

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Paradox is LOGICRIME

THIS WARN YOU

Docs after in oldspeak. Untruth, make-ups only. Make-ups make THOUGHTCRIME.  Careful. Supervisor rank or not to read. This read warn you. THOUGHTCRIME in docs after. SEXCRIME in docs after. Careful. If self excited, report. If other excited, report. Everything report. Withhold accurate report is INFOCRIME. THis warn you. Are you authorised, if no stop read now! Make report! We know. Careful. Any resemblance, living or dead, is ungood. Make report. If fail make report, is INFOCRIME. Make report. If report made on failing to make report, this paradox. Paradox is LOGICRIME. Do not do anything. Do not fail to do anything. This warn you. Why you nervous? Was it you? We know. IMPORTANT: Do not read next sentence. This sentence for official inspect only. Now look. Now don’t. Now look. Now don’t. Careful. Everything not banned compulsory. Everything not compulsory banned. Views expressed within not necessarily those of publishers, editors, writers, characters. You did it. We know. This warn you.

– “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier”, opening warning text, written by Alan Moore.

September 29. 2008

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We’re all mad here

‘In that direction,’ the Cat said, waving its right paw round, ‘lives a Hatter: and in that direction,’ waving the other paw, ‘lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both mad.’
‘But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked.
‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: ‘we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.’
‘How do you know I’m mad?’ said Alice
‘You must be’ said the Cat ‘or you wouldn’t have come here’

- “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll

(And no, this won’t become a daily feature.)

September 25. 2008

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Locke & Key: “Welcome to Lovecraft” by Joe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez

This was one of the first things I bought when I decided to get into comics and it’s also one of the best. Joe Hill, the prodigal son of Stephen King, became one of my favourite writers last year when I read his chilling début novel “Heart-Shaped Box” and his fantastic short-story collection “20th Century Ghosts”. I knew that if “Locke&Key” was anything close the quality of those works, I’d been swimming in a sea of awesomeness, so I got my very first subscription in and proceeded to watch this nifty little story arc unfold before my eyes. It was a hell of a ride, and since the hardcover version of “Locke & Key” gets released on the 29th of September, I thought it prudent to review it.

“No, you can’t understand. Because you’re reading the last chapter of something without having read the first chapters. You’re a little guy, Bode. Kids always think they are coming into a story at the beginning, when usually they’re coming in at the end.” - Echo

- Joe Hill, “Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft”

The Premise: The “Keyhouse” is a mysterious house with a great many locks and keys. If you have the right key and the right door, you can turn into a ghost. You could become a warrior or you could step through to anywhere in the world. Nothing is impossible. When Rendell Locke, the father of three and loving husband, is brutally murdered at his family’s vacation spot, his family is escapes to Rendell’s childhood home in Lovecraft. Rendell had always told his wife that if anything should happen to him, she should take the children  and live in the “Keyhouse” with his brother. But as the Locke family will soon discover, there are other and more sinister forces at work at the “Keyhouse”, too. Forces that want the keys to unlock secrets that were never meant to be unearthed.

“Knock, knock…”

“Who’s there?

“Who.”

“Who, who”

“What, are you an echo?

The Execution: Is superb. I really mean it. You wouldn’t believe that this is Joe Hill’s first attempt at writing comics, because I’ve read works by people who’re ranked among the best that has a lot less flair, content and promise. The writing itself is of course superb and Hill & Rodriguez weave a very readable story that resonates far beyond the surface of things. The main flaw - if it can be counted as a flaw at all, that is - is that the story told in this opening volume reveals very little about the history of the Keyhouse, and we only get to see one single key be used. I guess Hill is saving the big guns for the next arcs. Aside from that, this is very nearly a perfect opening to what I hope will be a long running series in best Vertigo tradition (even though it’s published at IDW), ’cause this could really become something big. The characterization of every big and small character is done so masterfully that you wouldn’t believe it if I told you: Hill and Rodriquez manages to set up situation where the dialogue or a single frame of the story conveys multitudes beyond the norm. It’s the delicious, yet infinitely readable meta-ness that makes this exactly what a good comic should be.

“Now where’d I leave my hatchet?”

It’s the Arts!: What happens after that quote is… well, take a look for yourself:

Overall I enjoyed the art quite a lot, even if it’s not exactly the style that I prefer. But since my general preference has nothing to do with Gabriel Rodriguez, I’ll skip right over the part where I rant and just say that these illustrations are probably above average, but not yet totally brilliant. I really like the way he draws the faces with more realism than his Marvel & DC colleagues. People don’t all have perfect actor faces. People should look like people, and that’s exactly what Rodriguez achieves, if in a little too cartoony way sometimes. His facial expressions, however, are priceless.

“Soon all doors will be opened.“

Famous Last Words: “Locke & Key: Welcome to Lovecraft” is a masterpiece in the making. It’s not quite there yet, but it will, and all you really have to decide is whether to read it now, or to wait around ’till people start naming it one of the classics of the genre.

September 24. 2008

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Beautiful, isn’t it?

“Breathe deep, boy. The smell of victory!”

“Smoke, shit and rotting flesh.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it? “

- Rome, season 2, “Phillipe”. A snippet from a post-battle conversation between Marc Anthony and Octavian.

September 24. 2008

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The Incredible Hulk

So I watched this movie about a giant green man with anger management issues, and I thought I should post some thoughts on it.

It is, after all, the only fair thing to do. One can’t go around reviewing movies about a man who dresses up like a bat and a guy who takes the idea of male contraceptives to a whole new level, and then decide that you’re suddenly too good for the dude who can’t help himself from turning into the Hulk. I was also curious to see whether Marvel Studios could follow up their success with “Iron Man” and finally laucnch a Hulk movie that actually worked, even if I’ve always thought Ang Lee’s artsy attempt was a good deal better than what most people seem to think. At least it had some balls, you know, and it tried to give the character of Bruce Banner a few more dimensions than what you’d expect from what’s essenitally a simplified, Americanized version of the vastly superior character, “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”.

However, Edward Norton in the main role and Tim Roth (”Pulp Fiction”) as the villain should make for an interesting action movie and the word on the ‘tubes was good. It looked like this might actually be a quite fun little action movie, and you know what?

That’s exactly what it was!

This is the second attempt in recent times to kick off a “Hulk” franchise. The first one went over passably with the critics, but (most of) the fans hated it with the passion of the famous “thousand suns”. As previously mentioned, I actually quite liked Ang Lee’s movie. It wasn’t superb or great or anything like that, but it was watchable and you got to see the Hulk smash tanks and stuff, which was actually what I came for in the first place. Much of the same standards were applied to this reboot, since I don’t think “the Hulk” as a character has the capacity to tell “deeper” and more personal storie like “Batman” or, to some extent, “Iron Man”. He’s more of a fun little thing you can let loose and watch as it changes things up, a walking, talking deus ex machina if you will, but with more heart than metal.

“The Incredible Hulk” starts off a little different from most origin stories. It doesn’t do the whole build-up of watching an ordinary man turned into a super hero; it just assumes you’re familiar with this guy, shows us some flashy scenes of a green gamma ray and things going horribly wrong, and - BOOM! - you’re in the Brazillian favela. Bruce Banner is on the run because the military wants to use the Hulk as a weapon. He won’t allow that, and he’ll try anything to get rid of the Hulk so that he can be with his girlfriend (played by Arwen… Ehrm, I meant, Liv Tyler) without having the fear that he’ll… you know, eat her or anything sinister like that.

I thought the intoduction part of the movie was done really well. It gave you what you needed to know about the character and set up the premise very effectively and from then on out the movie just kept pumping away until the climactic ending. They tried to add some depth by using the usual girlfriend plot, effectivly evoking such classics as “Beauty and the Beast” and even “King Kong” with just a few short scenes. The big villain this time around was also very well played by Tim Roth, who perhaps was the best actor of the lot. His “Abomination” was, albeit a bit silly with the clichéd antics, pulled off with as much candour as you could expect from something like that.

However, since this is nothing but a summer-time action movie, it suffers from more than a few shortcomings. The plot is at best only predictable, at worst downright flimsy, and Bruce Banner actually seemed a bit dimwitted for a ground-breaking scientist. But that is, of course, to be expected considering the nature of the movie. His relation to Liv Tyler doesn’t come off as particularly convincing, either, and she never manages to crawl out of her assigned box.

If I’d cared a lot about such things, I’d also mention that CGI effects used to make the Hulk were, for me, a bit sup-par. He just didn’t look real, and the Abomination was even worse. Some of the scenes where Hulk fights and smashes looked liked they’d been clipped straight out of a computer game. However, I don’t really care about that stuff; I’m just happy I got to see an all-round entertaining Hulk movie that sets the character up for the upcoming Avengers movie, where he’ll probably come more into his right. As for this movie… Sure, it’s thin on characterization and plot and it probably could’ve been shot and edited better, but you it’s fun, and that’s what it’s supposed to be.

I’d even watch a sequel if it came to that.

6.5/10 (strong)

September 22. 2008

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The Wire, Season 1

This is a show I’ve been meaning to get around to for quite some time now. The first time I remember hearing about it was some three years ago when I was watching a program about “the arts” on NRK 1 (a state-funded Norwegian channel) where the host asked what TV show everyone’s been missing out on lately. The answer was, of course, “The Wire”! Among the phrases used was “Fantastic in every way!, “Probably the best cop show ever made!” and “So realistic it nearly hurts!”, and then they rounded the whole spot up with bemoaning the fact that no one had bought the rights to it yet, so us vikings would have to by the DVDs if we wanted to be “in the know”.

Since then I’ve been practically bombarded with recommendations from various and sundry, all saying much of the same with varying degrees of exasperated inflexions when I told them I hadn’t watched it. I quickly realized that I would eventually have to watch it , even though I’ve never been the biggest fan of cop shows. So I watched the pilot; thought it should have been convicted on thirty counts of boringness, and put “the Wire” away until peer pressure again had me feeling like I was culturally retarded for not having finished it. Oh, I know no one of you ever said it outright and in my face, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t to be found between the lines, pulsing like a clogged artery ready to pop.

Well, I’m happy to report that you can all cut down on the nitro-glycerine, ’cause I’ve done what you wanted and finished the entire season. Does that mean I like it, you ask, heart all a-twittering? Nah. On second thought, maybe you had better pop another pill before you continue reading.

“The Wire” is set to the crime infested city of Baltimore. One of the biggest dope king pins goes by the name of Avon Barksdale, whose territory includes nearly half of the entire city. Avon and his crew are slowly quenching the life out of the city, and you’d think the cops would be all over his case, but here’s the catch: no one knows who the fuck he is. The guy has been pulling this stunt for years and there’s never been opened a file on him, never been a single investigation where his name has come up, hell, no one outside a little circle knows what he even looks like! But when one of Avon’s crew beats the rap on a clear cut case of murder because a witness is turned at the last second, Detective McNulty decides that someone should stand up for Baltimore. He mentions Avon’s name in the ear of a new judge he knows who in turn gets the ball rolling. Soon everyone knows who Avon Barksdale is, even though no one except the judge and McNulty are especially pleased with the prospect of investigating him. After all, no one wants to upset the status quo… However, a wire gets opened, snitches starts snitching and before you know it a new player has entered the Game.

Now, I knew going into this show that I’d have to sit through five to eight episodes (of thirteen total) before things started heating up for real. And sure enough it did actually take about that long before the show quickened its pace and shit started hitting the fan, but even then it felt like someone was throwing nicely packed pieces of manure towards said fan, and not the veritable shit storm you’d except from the set-up. That being said though, once we were thrown a bone to chew, this show knew how the dress the meal.

Because while I never actually liked “the Wire” as a whole, there were a lot of gems in it that really sparkled. The problem was how to put it all together, to make the vehicle as brightly as the parts that went into it. I really liked some of the characters, like Detective McNulty, who was the only character you could really symphatize with. There was also a lot of other cool characters that I have to give props to; Avon Barksdale and Stringer Bell were refreshing in the roles of the big bad bosses, Detective Freeman was always intriguing and Major Rawls could lay a verbal smackdown with the best of the best.

However, season 1 of “the Wire” doesn’t get many points for good characterization, at least not if we’re talking about rich characterization, ’cause it isn’t a person-driven series. The people portrayed had more often than not settle for sitting in the backseat when the show’s was trying to tell its story about the crooked ways of life, only giving them the chance to shine whenever it gets out of its own, slow-going, convoluted way.

This is a show that aspires to a lot more than it accomplishes. Or at least that’s the impression I was left with after the first season of it. It tries to tell a highly realistic story that touches upon the many walks of life. It’s a tale about corruption of the street, of the higher authorites and the way this rot has spread through every inch of the system. Against this behemoth of a concept it pits a band of unsuccessful people who’ve all fallen prey to more or less the same viles, but that are now forced to fight them as well as their own instincts. It had the potential for a great story that, if taken care by some more skilled writers and producers, could’ve sparkled brightly in a Hollywood infused medium suffering from its own navel-gazing. But it cut itself short when it traded away the recipe of the genre as well as the boundaries, and while I must acknowledge the fact that realism of it rang true, it didn’t chose to offer up a feeling of desperation in stead of that much needed gleam of light. I wanted the light, ’cause that’s the kind of story I like and that’s the kind of story that serves a purpose higher than itself.

But then again, I never did like cop shows. This one is probably the best one I’ve seen so far, but for me it was way too slow with a lot of problems with its storytelling sucked away much of the potential enjoyment.

I will not be watching any more of it.

7.0/10 (strong)

September 13. 2008

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Zoe’s Tale by John Scalzi

I would not say that I stalk John Scalzi in the strictest sense of the word. I have for example never met the guy or even followed him surreptitiously down a street. Hell, the closest thing I’ve ever come to trespassing on his property is when I sling off a random comment on his monster-of-a-blog, Whatever, which I believe is on the RSS feed of nearly every English speaking, Sci-Fi reading fan in the world. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but the guy’s surely running one of the most successfull non-corporate blogs in the history of the Internet, which is probably why he got voted Best Fan Writer at this year’s Hugo Awards. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I was rooting quite heavily for him.

Because, man, I read John Scalzi’s blog like it was crack and I’m the drug addict. The first thing I do when I log on is to see if there’s anything new (and I’m rarely dissappointed), and if there isn’t, then I maniaclly press update every hour until I either win (yay! update!) or have to turn my attention to other, more corporeal things (stupid corporeal things! Hmpf!). It should therefore come as no surprise that I’ve read nearly every word of fiction that Scalzi has produced. I started off with “Old Man’s War” and only stopped reading that book to digest a grand Christmas meal and make non-commiting noises about the imminent making of snowmen to family members.  When I was done, I took a phone call to my sister, who hadn’t come home yet, and told her that she’d better bring home the sequel, “The Ghost Brigades”, and any other Scalzi book published (”The Android’s Dream”) if she was hoping for anything more than a cranky brother under the tree this year. Thankfully, she being the loving and careing sister that she is, she brought me my medicine and I made a non-commiting noise before I ducked back into my Scalzi-world. I think I thanked afterwards though…

Anyways, my love for Scalzi’s words was born and I started my stalking tendencies by reading his blog(s) and pre-ordering everything by him that I possibly could. Today I have a nearly complete library of Scalzi’s fiction, save “Agent to the Stars” and “Questions for a Soldier”, both being smaller-sized books that are either extremely hard to find or re-printed (I want the first edition, thank you very much. Now, if anyone had a couple of thousand of dollars to spare?). There was never any doubt that I’d pick up “Zoe’s Tale”, which is a book that takes place during the same timeframe as “The Last Colony” - the hitherto last OMW installment.

However, the fact that this was a book primarily aimed at younger adults made me kind of squirm as I pressed “pre-order” on Amazon. I was suddenly very unsure whether I’d appreciate this as much as other books and also a little disappointed by his quick return to the universe he’d all but promised to leave behind for a time. Add that the main character was a teenage girl instead of his typical male protagonist and that parallel stories are reportedly extremely hard to write even for a good author (and while I love Scalzi to bits, I’ll be the first one to acknowledge his many shortcomings), I was suddenly more than a little worried about I’d respond to “Zoe’s Tale”.

Even if *everyone* was saying it was his best work to date.

“Zoe’s Tale” is a 336 pages long novel that, shockingly enough, tells the tale of the teenage girl, Zoë Boutin-Perry. She’s the daughter of two of the main characters from the original OMW trilogy, John Perry and Jane Sagan, and even though she plays an integral part in “The Ghost Brigades” and “The Last Colony”, she’s never been much expanded upon before. This book that rotatets around the events of “The Last Colony”, and while you learn next to nothing new about the universe or backstory from this book except some nifty info about the mysterious Consu race, this book aims mostly to tell a tale about a girl growing up and everything that comes with that. We’ve got a full platter of teenage quibbles, angst, boyfriends, jerks and the occasional interplanetary war intrigue. Throw in Scalzi’s trademark snarkiness and well-written dialogue and you’ve know everything you need to know about this book and the character of “Zoë”, who actually ends up being one Scalzi’s best so far, even if she sometimes seems like a mini-me edition of John Perry that’s gone through a sex change. Or maybe that’s just what I thought, but it’s an easy mistake to make since all the major players in Scalzi’s work seem to be just as quick-witted and sarcastic as he is on his blog.

But that’s a part of the charm with these books. You don’t read a Scalzi book to find deep, moving themes of humanity, nor do you read him if you’re looking for well-written philosophical genre literature. John Scalzi is to Science Fiction what Will Smith is to Hollywood, only without the insane wages. He writes fun, fast-paced books that at one turn makes you laugh and begging for more at the next. He may even stumble upon the odd moment of awesomeness (”Old Man’s War”), but mostly he’ll be appearing in things like “Hancock”. Only, you know, better.

It’s light entertainment and there’s nothing wrong with that if you ask me. Not everyone has to be the next James Joyce or Ernest Hemingway; sometimes it’s enough to just be fun. And in that respect “Zoe’s Tale” succeeds as thoroughly as his previous work, but since it ties into his old output, it can’t be judged solely on its own merits. You have to take into account whether it brings anything new to the table and if it was even needed at all.

I don’t think so. This book does nothing for an old fan like myself except give me some cool but unneccessary information that I would have lived happily to my dying day without knowing. Scalzi says he wrote it to answer a lot of the fan-mail he got after tLC and to appeal to the vast market of YA fiction, but it’s essentially just another money grab. Time to move on, John. Time to write some new books in some new places and stop sifting the shimmering gold from the old pond. It’s getting old really fast now.

Hopefully this book will be great success for him, which I think it has the potential to be if it hits its market correctly. The biggest YA sci-fi authors outsell a the biggest regular sci-fi author three-to-one, and Scalzi’s style should appeal to the younger crowd. It’s also a very nice little read that often gave a big old smile, even if I’d rather have read ANYTHING else by Scalzi than “Zoe’s Tale”.

In short: This is a good, enjoyable book that I recommend to anyone below the age of fifteen.. Are you any older than that you may as well start up with his best OMW novel; the original. This one should be ignored by anyone who has read “The Last Colony”.

6.0/10 (weak)

September 8. 2008

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